Intimacy
by Fall
Summary: Shuichi and Eiri’s “gravitational” relationship, what makes it work, and what makes it a living hell for them both. One-shot. Yuki x Shuichi. Yaoi Lime.


Date finished: February 28, 2004

Title: Intimacy

Series: Gravitation

Pairing: Yuki x Shuichi

Category: Mild angst, sap

Status: One-shot

Warning: Rated R for the yaoi (implied and lime), shounen-ai and some language.

Standard disclaimers apply.

Notes: '—denotes thoughts—' || /—denotes emphasis—/ || * denotes change in scene || -- denotes past situations -- 

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"Intimacy"

by Fall

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_-- Intimacy is a state of being close to someone, a closeness that two people share. It is merely but a condition of being attached to someone, of having the sheer privilege of knowing more about another person than anyone else. --_

Shuichi frowned at that last sentence. He furrowed his brows together, squeezed his eyes shut to think, and then gave up. He automatically reached for the bowl of popcorn that lay on the floor and popped a few into his mouth.

And then he choked. Anyone who was lying comfortably on a couch should never attempt to eat popcorn in that position. Shuichi coughed several times and knocked the glass of juice off the coffee table, spilling its sticky contents on the newly installed carpet.

"Nooo! Yuki would be so mad when he sees this!" He scrambled about the apartment, looking for a carpet cleaner. Once he found the bottle of cleaner, he poured the solution directly on the stained portion of the carpet. Unfortunately, it wasn't a carpet cleaner. It was something that burned a hole into the carpet.

"Oh no…" His large purple eyes surveyed the damage. "Yuki would be so angry, he's going to kick me out of here."

He scrambled about, trying to improve the situation he was in. He has an hour to hide all evidence of his stupidity before Eiri comes home from a meeting with his publisher.

*

"Your Yuki said that he had the ruined carpet replaced," Hiro informed his best friend over at breakfast. "I think that means you can go back there."

Shuichi's eyes were swollen from crying all night. As expected, Eiri had shouted at him for ruining the carpet. He said that he had never met anyone who would use an undiluted solvent for cleaning, but Shuichi had retorted that he could not have known, because Eiri had kept the solution inside the carpet cleaner bottle.

_-- "It worked for me when I was living alone!" Eiri had said hotly._

_"But you're no longer living alone!" Shuichi had shot back._

_Eiri had frowned. "You're the one who wanted to live with me, not the other way around!"_

_"But it was you who said we're going to try living together!"_

_"And that was the stupidest thing I've ever said in my damn life!" --_

"Earth to Shuichi," Hiro waved a hand in front of his friend's face. "I said you could go back to your Yuki."

"Did he tell you that?"

"No—I mean, yes, he did," Hiro stammered. He was taken by surprise with this question from Shuichi. He took one look at the large purple eyes that seemed to know he was lying, sighed, and then added, "Okay, so he didn't tell me that, but I thought it's an implied meaning with the carpet being replaced."

Shuichi knew that Eiri hid his emotion through his cold ways, but nevertheless, his eyes brimmed with fresh tears.

Hiro was filled with a certain emotion for him.

At the very start, he did not really approve of the relationship between Shuichi and the novelist. But he could not do anything—not when Shuichi believed that Yuki Eiri is his major source of happiness—and so Hiro resigned himself to the role of protector, always ready to rescue Shuichi from depression.

"Stop that, Shuichi… I'll take you back to your Yuki. Everything will work out between you two, trust me."

Outside, Hiro was smiling as he dragged Shuichi out to where his motorcycle was, but inside, he was cursing Yuki Eiri to hell and beyond. He had no right to make Shuichi feel sorry for himself.

*

Hiro had to push Shuichi into the elevator, pass the length of the corridor, and right in front of their unit before he left.

"I'm not going until I see you're inside." And Hiro held his struggling friend firmly on the spot.

"Do I have to enter on my own?" Shuichi whispered frantically. He wanted to see Eiri, but he was not ready to face him yet. His feelings had been hurt with Eiri's harsh words against him. _'Is he going to tell me to move out for good?'_

"Would you rather that I talk to him first?" Hiro asked through his teeth, unconsciously clenching his fist in silent anger.

"No!" Shuichi exclaimed, seeing the vengeful glint in Hiro's eyes. He should not have run over to Hiro's place when Eiri had thrown him out, but that was inevitable on his part, as Hiro was the only person he knew he could run to at any time. "I'd rather do it myself even if it kills me." And before Hiro could react, Shuichi had pressed the doorbell.

"What do you want?" Eiri asked coldly, his golden eyes narrowing when they fell on Hiro.

"Yuki… can we talk… inside?" Shuichi asked him, aware that Eiri had a different look when his eyes fell on him.

"_Baka_, there's nothing to talk about. Get inside." And he made to close the door on Hiro, who told him in a low voice, "The next time you make Shuichi feel sorry for himself, you'll have to answer to me."

Eiri only glared at him before closing the door. Hiro was left alone outside, and he surveyed the door with disdain before walking away.

*

"Has he left?" Shuichi asked, as Eiri closed the door.

"He should," Eiri answered, picking up the can of beer he had left on the side table. He waited for Shuichi to launch into one of his non-stop chattering, but it did not come, and he was surprised.

He surveyed the person he so often referred to as a nuisance in his life, standing quietly in one corner, his purple eyes fixed on the floor. How did this annoying brat enter his life without warning? Why had he let him turn his life—and emotions—upside down? It was certainly not the boy's physical aspect. Eiri had met people who were more beautiful than the one in front of him. Could it be the intellectual aspect? Nah, the boy could not even write decent lyrics. So it has to be something else, something he could not define yet.

"_Oi_," He said, walking over to where Shuichi was standing. "If you're still guilty about the carpet, make up for it by /not/ ruining anything in this apartment for once."

"_Ne_, Yuki, you regret living with me don't you? I'm so clumsy, noisy, and disorganized, that you're suffering with the mere thought of living with me. I'm sorry, really sorry." Purple eyes looked up at him, and Eiri felt a vise grip his heart for a moment. There were tears in those eyes. He remembered the hurting words he had said the night before.

_-- "And that was the stupidest thing I've ever said in my damn life!" --_

"_Baka_. I can throw you out anytime I want to, if living with you was as unbearable as you think." And before Shuichi could reply, Eiri kissed him long and hard, effectively stopping him from anything he wanted to say. His hands came up to the novelist's head, wanting to savor more of those sensuous lips.

When those lips came in contact with his earlobes, he shivered. After a while, Eiri's hand brushed over the bulge in Shuichi's pants, making the latter's knees buckle. Sharp golden eyes were full of desire as the owner stripped his young lover of his clothes, exposing the beautiful white flesh to his gaze. He continued his ministrations until Shuichi came, gasping and shivering under his skillful hands. And then it was Shuichi's turn to pleasure his blond lover, letting his lips travel all over the writer's chest, nipping and licking, slowly working his way down. Eiri held off for a few moments, enjoying the feel of those lips on his flesh. Soon they were lost in a rhythm they were familiar with, each lost in the desire that consumed them. Shuichi came for a second time, crying out Eiri's name over and over again as he shuddered with pleasure. Eiri on the other hand, merely groaned as he came inside Shuichi.

They lay there quietly, catching their breaths. After a while, Eiri got up and stood in front of the window. When Shuichi heard the flick of a lighter, he sighed. After putting on his clothes, he left the room without words.

Eiri pressed a hand to his forehead the minute he heard the familiar click of the lock as Shuichi left the room. It was always like this. He always initiated sex every time they had a talk after a fight. And each time, he would roll off Shuichi and wait for him to leave as if nothing had happened. The first time they did this, he had to snap at Shuichi to leave the room. And that episode was repeated again and again, until it became a ritual for them.

He would always initiate sex because he did not know how to deal with Shuichi in the emotional way. He had no idea how emotions worked, how he was supposed to say things, what he was supposed to say.

Sex was supposed to be enough; it was supposed to be the easiest way out for him. But as time went by, it was suddenly becoming something that left a heavy feeling in him. Each time he heard Shuichi leaving, there was something that clawed at his heart, something that cried out to him, something that made him want to say, _"Stay"._

When had the annoying brat come to mean so much to him?

*

"Hello! Shindou Shuichi speaking!" He excitedly said into the phone.****

"_Honto_? That's sooo cool, K-_san_! Expect me there in 20 minutes flat!" There was a mad scrambling around the apartment as Shuichi zoomed around, scribbling a message for Eiri on the memo pad, pulling several clothes from the cabinet and grabbing his music sheets from the bedside table. Twice he had to unlock the door, remembering some things. The first time he did, he left a reminder that he had thrown all the beer and cigarettes out. The next was when he suddenly remembered to turn off the lights in the study. Eiri always griped about the waste of energy, even if it was him who stays up at night, typing away on his laptop.

Shuichi smiled as he neatly arranged Eiri's desk, shuffling the strewn manuscripts together and emptying the ashtray. As a last touch, he placed a little vase in one corner. He placed in it the paper flower he had been making earlier, closed the door, and left the apartment.

*

Eiri came home to a silent apartment. He had an appointment with his editor this morning, and was forced to appear in an interview for his latest novel in the afternoon. Then he ran into Tohma, who suddenly appeared when Eiri was about to tell off the group of giggling girls that accosted him at the parking lot. There was nothing else to do but to drive off with his brother-in-law, have dinner together, and listen to Tohma's cordial thoughts about everything.

He wanted to go home and rest his aching head, but was suddenly reminded that going home meant being subjected to yet another harrowing experience. But he did stop at the first gourmet shop he passed, bought take-out food for two, and some beer.

The first thing he expected upon unlocking the door was the inevitable jumping of Shuichi to greet him, followed by an irritating (or was that endearing?) shriek of "Yu~ki! Yuki! Yuki! Yu~ki!" So he braced himself, grimacing at the prospective thought of having his headache doubled, but no Shuichi came to jump on him. The apartment was dark and silent.

His hand found the light switch and turned it on.

Golden eyes scrutinized every corner of the room, narrowing at every quiet second that passed. It was as if he was questioning the lack of a certain pink-haired someone's presence.

Realizing that he was really alone for once, he sank back onto the couch. Strange, but suddenly he had the urge to seek the boy and scold him for leaving him alone tonight. "Shuichi _no baka_."

The first place that came to his mind was the studio, and his hand automatically reached for the phone. His eyes fell on the memo pad stuck there, filled with Shuichi's writing:

_(heart) Yuki (heart),_

_I need to stay at the studio for the night—gomen for not calling you but your mobile phone was off. Don't forget to eat, I've left something in the fridge for you, do eat it, I made it for you ^_______^ (hearts)_

_Love,_

_Shuichi_

_P.S. I threw out your stuff. Don't buy another batch because I'll throw them away again. XD_

"Shuichi _no baka_!" He repeated, slamming the receiver back into its cradle. He was not keen on calling after the brat anymore, muttering stuff about why he had let him live with him in the first place. He opened the first can and downed its content in a few gulps and proceeded to open another. It is going to be a long night.

*

The next day, there was still no Shuichi, and his head was aching five times worse than before. He threw a glance at the phone, as if daring it to ring. He waited for a full minute before automatically reaching for it, his hand dialing a familiar number…

"Good morning! You have reached NG Records. An operator will be with you shortly…"

Eiri grimaced, and then dropped the phone back to its cradle. He could not believe that he was on the verge of calling after the annoying brat. He was not about to call Shuichi and ask him to come home. He had never done that, and now was not the time to start doing it.

*

When he came back from the pharmacy, his attention was caught by the blinking red light on the answering machine. It was not his immediate thought, but his hand acted anyway and pressed the button. The first message was from his editor, asking him if he had started writing his new novel; next was a message from Mika, saying that Eiri should /really/ come home once in a while. It took two more messages from Tohma before he finally heard one from Shuichi.

_Beep_. "Yuki? Eep, _gomen nasai_! I was supposed to go home today, but there were sudden changes, and now I'm going to be stuck here for a few days! I miss you a /whole/ lot, but I really can't leave because K-_san's_ going to shoot me if I did, and you know he'd really do his threats one of these days. And you know what? Sakano-_san_ had told us that there were plans about Bad Luck going on tour! Isn't that great? I'm sooo excited! I've been dreaming about this thing ever since I've decided that I'm going to have a band! I'm sooo happy, I wish you could be here to share with my happiness—"

Shuichi's words were cut. Eiri had pushed the stop button. He had heard enough, and it left mixed feelings in him.

Shuichi _no baka_. The annoying brat is not coming home yet. He is going on a tour.

Tours were dangerous, especially during the nights when you are all alone in a hotel room. Shuichi might meet some freak that would worship him, lock him, and promise him everything he ever wanted.

Shuichi might never come back to him at all.

Eiri drank the medicine he had bought. Then he took out his car keys. The _genki_ singer would have to come home right now if he were to be away for the next six months. 

To hell with K and his machine gun—Eiri would drag Shuichi home against his wishes.

*

"You're being unreasonable," Shuichi wailed, tears streaming down his face. "You don't want me to go on this tour? Why?"

Eiri could not answer him directly. He wanted to say that he was not going to survive the rest of the year without Shuichi, but his pride would not let him. So instead he said, "I didn't say /that/. I just told you that when you go, don't ever come back here."

Purple eyes widened. "But it's all the same! You're giving me no choice but to stay. You don't want me to go. You—"

"Choice? Did it even occur in your blasted little brain that I'm the one without a choice here?"

"But you never tell me anything… how was I supposed to know you felt like that?"

"I'm not a brat like you who whines at every opportunity."

"Then tell me why you don't want me to go. I need to know /why/, Yuki. My music means the world to me."

"Good idea. Why don't you run away with your music and sleep with it then?" Eiri snapped. "Then I could return to my normal life, the one I was happily living before you unfortunately came and ruined it."

Shuichi's lips trembled. "I'm sorry if I caused you so much trouble. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just so sorry!" Having said that, he wiped away the tears that ran down his face, and forced a smile. "If leaving is the only thing I can do to make up for my ruining your life, I would gladly—"

A sudden movement from Eiri stopped him. He had grabbed Shuichi by the neck and kissed him. When the kiss ended, Eiri held on to him.

"I don't understand," Shuichi whispered. "I don't understand what you want, Yuki."

"I don't understand myself either." Eiri whispered back, leaning his head against the wall for support. His head was aching intolerably, and his vision was blurring.

Shuichi noticed that Eiri have gone white with pain. "Yuki? What's wrong?" He helped him to a chair and hovered worriedly over him. "Do you need anything? Do you have any medicine here? Should I take you to the hospital? Should I call—"

"Just shut up!" Eiri gritted out, holding his head tightly in his hands. But he did not protest when Shuichi's arms went around him.

Shuichi himself was surprised when Eiri did not say anything. "Yuki… please, tell me what's happening to you?"

But Eiri only looked at him and shook his head. The he tried to say something, but he collapsed before he could finish. Shuichi was frantic and he called up the first number that came into his mind.

*

When Eiri woke up, he expected to see someone with purple eyes anxiously watching over him, prepared to handle the inevitable "Yuki~!" and the hugging that would come with it. Therefore, he was not prepared to see someone with blond hair and green eyes sitting beside his bed.

"How are you feeling, Eiri-_san_?"

He frowned. "Seguchi."

The mentioned person stood up and poured some water into a glass. He made Eiri drink some water, before sitting down in the chair again. "We were worried about you. Your sister was upset, and it took me a long while to assure her you'll be alright."

Golden eyes traveled around the room, but the owner remained silent.

Tohma noticed the reason behind that scanning and answered the unspoken question. "He's a well-meaning but reckless person. He called me up to ask me what he should do. You have /collapsed/, and the first thing he thinks of is calling me to ask what he should do? He should have called an ambulance first! I tremble to think what would have happened if he hadn't called me at all." He bit back a sigh of frustration when Eiri remained passive. "I sent him home. He had no right to live with you if he would be the cause of your illness. I told him that if he truly loved you, he would stay away from you."

"You did what?" Eiri asked sharply. Tohma was disconcerted with the tone Eiri had used.

"Eiri-_san_, I only did that out of concern—"

"Seguchi, I know it is your lifelong goal to interfere with my personal life, but for once in your life, /stay away/ from it."

"But—"

"I don't want to hear any more of your reasons!" Eiri said, closing his eyes. "Just leave."

He didn't see the troubled look in Tohma's eyes. "If that's what you want, Eiri-_san_." He took a long look at Eiri before he closed the door. But he didn't leave, leaning his forehead on the cool surface of the door.

"What do I have to do to make you change your mind about him?" He murmured, gripping his hands into tight fists.

*

Back in the apartment, Shuichi was numbly packing his things into a box. Everything that Tohma had told him was right. He could never face Yuki again. He did not deserve him. He was the cause of all his problems. He was the one who made Yuki sick. He was selfish. He was stupid.

He should have obviously called for an ambulance first before calling Tohma. In fact, why did he call Tohma at all? He was so stupid; it nearly cost him the life of his beloved.

"Goodbye, Yuki. Seguchi-_san_ was right. I should stay away from you. I… I…" And Shuichi broke down, unable to complete his words. He cried hard for a while, remembering everything that happened to them.

What was intimacy again? Wasn't it something synonymous to an understanding? Didn't they have that? Was it even enough for them to have intimacy in their relationship?

Why can't Yuki show him, tell him what is going on, something about him? Did Yuki even love him at all? Was intimacy a measurement of love between two people? Shuichi loved him for everything that he was, for everything that he is not. What was he to Yuki anyway?

_'Nothing.'_ His mind told him. _'You're nothing to him, and you're stupid to have never noticed it all these time.'_

"But I don't regret having loved Yuki at all." He wiped his eyes and resigned himself to continue packing. He lifted the stack of his lyric sheets off the table, and he saw the book he had been reading, squashed underneath it.

He smiled in memory of the ruined carpet, when he saw that he had left it open at the page he was reading on that day. Gently, he closed the book, intending to pack it along with his things. Suddenly, he cried out in surprise. It was one of Yuki's novels. [1]

When he had first picked the book up, it was lying on the table, already open at that particular page. The first sentence pricked his curiosity, and before he knew it, he was already reading the whole paragraph. And then the accident with the juice happened, and he had forgotten about this book ever since.

His eyes skimmed over the next line.

_-- But intimacy should never be confused with love, for the former is present between people who are comfortably familiar with each other, while the latter is something that means far more than intimacy could ever mean. --_

*

Shuichi have made up his mind. He smiled, kissed Yuki's picture at the last page of the book, and reached for the phone.

"Hello, K-_san_? It's me Shuichi. About the tour—no, I'm not backing out—can we move it a little later? I need some time for myself—no, I'm /not/ running away—I promise I'll be ready when I come back. Yes, don't worry. Thank you for understanding. I promise Shindou Shuichi will rock the whole country!"

*

That night, Shuichi slept on the couch. He was not aware that someone came into the apartment and arranged the covers around him, nor was he aware that the same person hesitated for a bit before brushing the stray pink bangs off his forehead. But even if he was not aware of it, he mumbled something in his sleep and his lips settled into a satisfied smile.

*

When he woke up the next day, Eiri was lying on top of him.

"Yuki! What are you doing here?" Shuichi prodded him awake. One bleary eye opened up, but then it closed again when it rested upon the tuft of pink hair.

"Yu~ki! You're supposed to be bedridden at the hospital! How come you're here, in your traveling clothes, lying on top of me—/why/ did you come home on your own?"

"Shut up!" Eiri snapped, albeit a little tiredly. "I'm trying to regain back the strength angsting over you had sapped out of me."

"Yuki… I'm not joking! How come you're here?" Shuichi's voice was tearful.

"Are you really worried about me?" Eiri asked him, caressing Shuichi's cheek with his hand. When the boy nodded and sat up to avoid his gaze, Eiri closed his eyes for a moment to let it sink in. Could this sensitive boy really be worried about someone who is as cold as him? Is it really possible that someone actually /loved/ him for everything that he is, for everything that he is not?

Eiri had never been good with handling emotions, had decided long ago that he did not need them in any way. Or at least, he was trying to push those emotions back from where they came from. He thought he had long ago buried the Uesugi Eiri who was capable of feeling, of wanting, of /loving/…

But he had thought wrong.

"You're worried so much about me, that you were planning to run off without telling me." Eiri said wryly, gesturing at the boxes that were stacked near the door. Sitting up himself, he reached for the cigarette pack he had on the nearby table and lit a stick.

"Yuki! You shouldn't be smoking!" Shuichi made a grab at the stick, but missed.

"Don't change the subject."

"I'm not! And well, if you should know, Segu—I mean, I've decided I should have my own place to dump my stuff, that's all."

Eiri curled his upper lip in disgust. "I know what he told you. You were dense enough to believe that you can so much as affect my health."

"But you can't live with a stupid, whiny, clumsy, childish, brat like me—"

"Stop flattering yourself already," Eiri interrupted, noting that the "brat" have mentioned every "degrading" word he had ever called him. "You don't need to make a martyr of yourself and then run off to your Hiro to declare it."

"Yuki… ?"

"And you can go and 'rock the country' as long as you want to." Eiri added as an afterthought.

"Yuki!"

"I would've been home earlier if I hadn't stopped by at your studio. It tired me out greatly, which is why I dropped off on the couch the moment I got home."

"You were happy to see me dozing off on the couch, that you decided to sleep on top of me, so you would notice if ever I would get up and leave the apartment for good?" Shuichi decoded for him quietly. Eiri's eyes went wide with surprise, but Shuichi could tell that he had perfectly translated Eiri's words exactly as they should mean.

"Yuki, I love you. You have to believe me that I'll never leave you—that I'll always come back to you. Even if you yell at me, even if you say you don't care for me, even if you think nothing of me, I won't leave you. Because I love you for all that you are, for all that you're not—" Shuichi choked back a sob. "I love you even if you don't lo—"

"Just shut up and listen to me!" Eiri took a deep breath. "Stay."

It was such a short word, but Shuichi understood the real meaning behind it. Yuki was asking him to stay with him. He was important to Yuki. Yuki loved him. Yuki actually loved him.

Before he knew it, tears were running down his face. Eiri pulled him close and held on to him, letting Shuichi's tears soak the front of his shirt.

Eiri's hand came up and stroked the pink hair softly. When he realized what he was doing, he stopped and stared at his hand. After a while, he sighed and buried his face in Shuichi's hair.

*

"Didn't it ever occur to you I could've been crushed beneath your weight?" Shuichi asked him after an hour's worth of silence.

"Bah, it has been a proven fact that I couldn't crush you, no matter how many times I'm on top of you." Eiri retorted, a smirk visible on his features. He captured Shuichi's mouth with his, and kissed him passionately, all the emotion he was feeling pouring down on him as their hands twined with each other.

This time, Shuichi knew it would be different. Some things would never change; some things would take a while to adjust. But now that he knew what he was to Eiri, he was ready to wait until everything's fallen into their right places.

*

"Yuki? Didn't I throw all your stuff out? How come you taste like your beer again?"

"_Baka_! You're only imagining things."

"But you're supposed to taste like juice! I gave you one an hour ago didn't I?"

"Unfortunately for your taste—or should I say fortunately for mine—the content magically changed into beer." Eiri's eyes glittered, but he quickly stifled the smirk that inched its way to his features.

Shuichi's eyes widened. "But that's not possible! Where's that bottle? I'm going to tell the manufacturers that they've made a mistake in bottling their product—hey!" He gasped out as the phone was wrenched out of his grasp.

"You're not about to make an utter fool of my name!" Eiri snapped.

"Your name? But I'm going to tell them that I'm Shindou Shuichi!"

"This number is registered under /my/ name, if you must know—"

"But they should know about their mistake—"

"Haven't you figured it out yet that juice would /never/ transform into beer?"

"I know! That's why I'm going to tell them they placed the wrong liquid into the wrong bottle—"

"You annoying little brat! I threw out /your/ juice and refilled the bottle with /my/ beer. I was getting tired of coming home every time to discover that you've thrown everything out, and then being forced to walk out and buy another batch. I figured you wouldn't notice the difference, and I was right, _baka_." Eiri explained in an exasperated tone.

Purple eyes went wide with surprise. "Yuki…" He breathed. "I understand completely!" He giggled for some time before launching himself onto Eiri. The writer was taken by surprise and they tumbled onto the kitchen floor.

"What in hell do you think you're—"

"You're so cute when you're angry," Shuichi murmured, kissing him into silence. He lifted his head a little to marvel at the way his Yuki's face altered from angry to satisfied after their little kiss. He chuckled to himself and proceeded to prod the writer's lips open, sucking at the tongue that fought with his for dominance. Eiri had already rolled to have Shuichi beneath him, when the latter suddenly wriggled away and gazed at a scowling Eiri.

"Yuki, what age did you realize that exchanging bottle contents provides you with a certain power over something?" Shuichi asked him, his purple eyes somber.

"/What/?"

"I mean, I remember you saying you've always felt you weren't given the chance to choose for anything, and that's like saying you felt powerless. So I figured that by your exchanging the contents of bottles, you've managed to manipulate others because they didn't know about what you did, and that about compensates for your own insecurities."

Eiri frowned. "That is the most absurd thing I've ever heard in my life." He stood up and started to button his shirt on.

"Wait, Yuki! Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go out and exchange the bottle contents of whatever liquid are available in some bar. I need to compensate for my /insecurities/ after all."

"But we haven't /finished/," Shuichi pointed out, blushing.

"/That/ is my insecurity. You always manage to find something else that distracts you from me, and it always ruins the mood."

"Yu~ki!" Shuichi pouted and used the puppy-eyed look (it had never failed him once with Yuki). However, it seems that Eiri was either used to it, or he really felt the need to compensate for his insecurities, that the trick did not have any effect on him.

Eiri slammed the door shut when he left. Shuichi sighed. His Yuki was perpetually annoyed with everything, but he never slammed the door unless he was really pissed off with you.

Humming to the tune of his latest song, Shuichi took out the six-pack he had hidden behind the boxes of his favorite cereal and placed it in the refrigerator. Then he rummaged in the pockets of his sweatshirt, took out the cigarette packs, and deposited them beside Eiri's laptop.

They were going to be used as peace offering to an infuriated Eiri when he gets back. Not that Shuichi needed something else other than his delicious self to wheedle Eiri out from his annoyed mood. Afterwards, he would try again to subtly remove every trace of Eiri's favorite vices from his life.

"Now… where was that book again?" He scuttled about, trying to find the item in question. _'It was just here days ago…'_

*

Somewhere in a nearby park, on a bench that was situated beside the lamppost, someone was busy writing several lines on a sheet of paper. Beside him lay a certain book, which was quite worn out at a certain page.

The person held out the paper and read what he had written. He frowned, revised a few, and then wrote something at the bottom of the paper.

The evening wind blew several strands of his blond hair away from his golden eyes. The light from the lamppost flickered as the hour struck past eleven. The person stretched, inserted the paper into the place where he had kept the book open, and started to walk back home.

*

The next day, as Shuichi zoomed around the apartment to tidy up the place before leaving for the studio, he saw the book he had been looking for last night. It was underneath the pile of Eiri's coat, which the novelist had carelessly tossed on the floor upon entering the apartment.

Shuichi noticed something sticking out from between the book's pages and was naturally curious about it. He pulled it out, read it, gasped, read it again, and then finally, he wailed.

"Dammit! Can't you postpone that wailing until you're miles away from here? It's only six in the morning, and I'm supposed to be happily unconscious at this hour!"

If possible, Shuichi's wailing grew even louder.

"What is the damn matter with you?"

Shuichi sniffled. "You."

For a brief moment, golden eyes flashed with something indescribable. "Your fault," he said in a sarcastic tone. "For forcing yourself into my life."

To his surprise, Shuichi actually stopped wailing.

"No, no, no," The pink-haired singer said, with an emphatic wiggling of his forefinger. "You misunderstood me. It's /this/." And he held out the beloved piece of paper.

"You're wailing because of that?"

Shuichi chose not to answer and instead jumped on Eiri and kissed him. The blond was surprised, but he was very pleased. They were getting on rather intensely, when the alarm clock suddenly rang. Shuichi broke the kiss, straightened up, and dashed to get his things.

"_Gomen_ Yuki! I promised K-_san_ I'd be at the studio by eight. Bye!" And he gave the glaring Eiri a parting kiss before scrambling toward the door. Two seconds later, his head re-appeared at the doorway and said, "Wait for me so we can have dinner together 'kay?" before vanishing out of sight.

Eiri just shook his head and walked back to their bedroom. He was going to get some sleep while he could. He had this sinking suspicion that he had just sentenced himself to a week's worth of Shuichi-related chaos.

*

"Will you /stop/ playing that? I'm trying to get some work done here!" Eiri snapped, giving the offending person a glare that would have scared off other people. Unfortunately, Shuichi actually thought he looked really cute when angry.

"But it's /your/ song! And you wrote it for me!" Shuichi protested, turning up the volume.

"I only /wrote/ it, so quit saying it's mine. I'm damned enough as it is, being subjected to endless questions about you and that song." Eiri stalked over to the set and promptly pulled the cord from the socket.

"Yu~ki!" Shuichi complained, trying to snatch the cord back from Eiri. "That was my favorite part of the song!"

"It's noise pollution, and I've got a deadline in three days' time."

"But—"

"Just shut up and let me work in peace!"

"But I want to hear the song that you wrote for me!"

"Then sing it to yourself /quietly/, I don't care. Just don't make any sound or you'll face the prospect of living in your very own place far from here." Eiri turned, dropped the cord, and went back into the study.

*

"Shuichi _no baka_." Eiri muttered, but he left the door slightly open. When he heard the soft strains of Shuichi's voice, he smiled. _'Not _/my/_ song, Shu_—/your/ _song. I wrote it for you.'_

Outside, purple eyes shone brightly with adoration as its owner continued to sing.

\\ The End

*

[1] We all know that Yuki Eiri writes romance novels. And he said that he writes "trashy romance" because it's what the women (readers) want. But Yuki Eiri is a cultured person, and so I don't believe all of his novels are worthless (he might, on a whim, have written trash, but not every time, I believe). For this fic, I used inspirational quotes from one of his supposed novels.

A/N: I've always wanted to write something about Shuichi and Eiri's "gravitational" relationship, what makes it work, and what makes it a living hell for them both. But I didn't want to make it that serious, nor that comical, so I decided to mix both and came up with /this/.

(**Spoilers**: Eiri's headache and his collapse; Tohma telling Shuichi to stay away from Eiri; Hiro threatening Eiri not to hurt Shuichi's feelings—they all happened in the anime. I only wanted to include them into the fic because they're some of my favorite parts in the anime.)

Written under the influence of Gravitation music—Super Drive (Silent Beat Mix).

Review comments and constructive criticisms are welcome.


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